Key Takeaway:
Plato’s concept of love is more profound than the idea of finding a missing half. The origins of this idea can be traced back to Plato’s philosophical text, Symposium, which argues that love should be more than just physical attraction or emotional closeness. It should lead to the pursuit of wisdom, truth, and beauty, challenging us to grow together and strive for something greater. Love should be about pushing us beyond ourselves, refining our character, and striving toward something greater. Plato’s vision of love as a force for intellectual and spiritual growth was groundbreaking, as most relationships in ancient Athens were transactional. Modern relationships should be more about challenge and growth, not just companionship. Love should be a shared journey, not just about finding the perfect match, but about striving for something greater together.
Love is often thought of as a force that completes us, a quest for that elusive “other half” who will make us whole. But is that really the purpose of love? The ancient Greek philosopher Plato had a far more profound and transformative idea. While today “Platonic love” is often used to describe deep affection devoid of romantic or sexual desire, Plato’s original concept was something much richer. Love, he argued, is not just about finding another person to complete us—it is about striving for something greater together.
The Origins of Platonic Love
The roots of the idea come from Plato’s Symposium, a philosophical text written in the early fourth century BC. This famous work is set at a drinking party in Athens, attended by a group of intellectuals, including Socrates, the most famous philosopher of the time. The guests take turns giving speeches about the nature of love, each offering a different perspective.
One of the most memorable contributions comes from the comic playwright Aristophanes. He tells a humorous yet poignant story about the origins of love. In the beginning, he claims, humans were once whole beings with four arms, four legs, and two faces. But fearing their power, the gods split them in half, leaving each person forever searching for their missing counterpart.
Though Aristophanes’ myth is entertaining, it also reflects a deep truth about human nature—our desire for connection. This idea, that love is about finding a missing half, has endured for centuries. But Plato challenges this notion through the character of Socrates, who presents a radically different view of love—one that elevates it beyond mere physical attraction or even emotional closeness.
Love as a Path to Growth
Socrates, drawing on the wisdom of a woman named Diotima, explains that love begins with physical desire but should ultimately lead to something far more profound: the pursuit of wisdom, truth, and beauty. Love, in its highest form, is not about completing ourselves through another person but about growing together toward a higher understanding of the world.
Rather than searching for someone who mirrors us, true love should push us beyond ourselves. It should challenge us to expand our minds, refine our character, and strive toward something greater. The ideal relationship is not merely one of mutual affection but of mutual inspiration—where two people help each other become the best versions of themselves.
Beyond the Physical: The Intellectual and Spiritual Dimensions of Love
This idea of love as a force for intellectual and spiritual growth was groundbreaking. In ancient Athens, most relationships between men and women were transactional—marriages were arranged for social and economic reasons, not romantic fulfillment. Women were rarely educated, and intellectual companionship was generally found in relationships between men.
This is why Symposium largely focuses on homoerotic love. The first speaker, Phaedrus, even argues that love between male warriors could make an army invincible because soldiers would fight bravely to impress their beloved. Another speaker, Pausanias, distinguishes between mere physical attraction and the deeper, more noble love based on mutual admiration and commitment.
Socrates takes this argument further, asserting that the highest form of love transcends physical desire entirely. He recounts how Alcibiades, the most handsome and sought-after young man in Athens, once attempted to seduce him, only to be rejected. Socrates wasn’t interested in Alcibiades’ beauty—he was more concerned with shaping his mind and soul.
This was a radical stance. At a time when power, status, and physical beauty were often the defining features of love, Plato’s vision suggested that love should be about something more enduring.
Rethinking ‘True Love’
If we apply Plato’s concept of love to modern relationships, it forces us to reconsider many of our common assumptions. Love is often portrayed as a matter of chemistry, fate, or finding “the one.” But Plato’s Symposium suggests that love should be less about who we love and more about how we love.
True love, in this view, is not about comfort or validation. It is about challenge and growth. It is about two people who push each other to reach new heights—not just in their careers or ambitions but in their understanding of life itself. A relationship should be more than just companionship; it should be a shared pursuit of meaning, creativity, and wisdom.
The Modern Relevance of Platonic Love
Despite being written over 2,000 years ago, Symposium remains deeply relevant today. In an era where dating culture often emphasizes instant gratification, attraction, and surface-level compatibility, Plato reminds us that love should be about something deeper.
Many modern relationships struggle because they are built on the idea of “finding the perfect match” rather than becomingthe kind of person who is capable of profound love. Plato challenges us to see love not as a passive experience that happens to us but as an active pursuit—one that requires effort, self-improvement, and a commitment to something beyond ourselves.
Love as a Shared Journey
So, what does it mean to love Platonically in the truest sense? It means looking beyond physical attraction and emotional comfort to find a partner who challenges and inspires you. It means building a relationship that is not just about fulfilling personal desires but about striving for something greater together.
Love should not be about finding someone who “completes” you but about finding someone who makes you more—someone who expands your thinking, supports your ambitions, and encourages your growth.
In the end, Aristophanes’ idea of love as seeking a lost half is a comforting illusion. The reality is that true love—Plato’s love—is not about what another person can give you but about what you can become together.
